Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
