I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
