I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
