I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
