Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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