My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
