Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
