Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
