Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
