I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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