You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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