I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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