Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
