Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
