That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
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