Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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