i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
