We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
