what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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