Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
