i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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