i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
