The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
