She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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