he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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