I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
