So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
