I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
