I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize