I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
