I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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