New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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