wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
