you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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