I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
