Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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