Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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