Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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