she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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