Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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