i don't like sucking hair
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
