There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
