Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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