The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
