Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
