Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
