but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
