Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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