he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
