i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize