It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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