Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
