speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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