I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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