dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
