Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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