He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
