Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
